Autism myth busting

Here are some common myths around parenting a child or young person with autism which have been busted.

Just wait and see how things go

You may hear this from school.

There is a balance to be struck. Autism affects all children and young people differently and so they will respond to their environment in very different ways. If your child or young person is finding things at home and school easy to manage and is making good progress, then it’s up to you if you want to wait and see how things go.

If your child or young person is finding certain things tricky, then accessing the right support early can really help and potentially stop things getting worse.

For some families, it might be enough to talk to the SENCO or schoolteacher, take advice via the Autism Specialist Teaching Team's Parent Phone Line or get some advice from other parents in a similar position. So, if your child’s or young person’s differences are causing difficulties at home or at school, then you should raise it with the school.

I've been recommended a social worker, it means I'm being judged and my parenting skills are being questioned

Social workers don’t just provide support where there are concerns about parenting. They can also support families of children or young person with disabilities to access support around their child’s or young person’s needs.

There are a variety of different roles done by social workers. Some of those relate to concerns about child protection, but many roles are about supporting families. Social care can undertake an assessment of the needs of the whole family and work out if there are any other ways of providing support. They can help parents access respite services, short breaks, additional funding and more.

Having a child or young person with additional needs is hard work, and it’s okay to accept help from any agency that can offer it. There are some specialist teams that can only be accessed via social care, so we may ask social care to become involved as a way of accessing that help.

Parenting courses can be helpful for any family. There is no standard manual for parenting, and everyone needs a bit of help sometimes to help navigate the needs of their autistic child and the rest of the family.

An additional benefit of parenting courses and groups is that parent carers can meet others in the same position, share advice and get support from peers rather than just professionals.

The courses are not about telling parent carers they are doing something wrong; they are about giving parent carers a range of different strategies and ideas so they can use the right strategy in the right situation and help their child or young person. Parent carers are the ones who know their child or young person best and who are with them most of the time, so are the people that need to have that range of strategies and tools at their disposal to help their child or young person.

We know it takes a huge amount of energy and commitment to attend parenting courses when you have a child or young person with additional needs, possibly as well as having other children, a household to run, a job to do, other family commitments or responsibilities amongst other things. It’s really hard to consistently put the strategies into practice – especially around sleep when the whole family is exhausted, or around behaviour when everyone is at breaking point. Sometimes the courses will give you the moral support and encouragement that you need to keep going.

Parent carers cannot contact the local authority themselves

There are lots of reasons why children and parents may want to contact the local authority, for example about Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs), post-16 education and career opportunities, and specialist school provision.

York's Local Offer for SEND provides information on how and who to contact.